be new

Where did this weekend go? All these plans to get stuff done went out the window and once again I feel myself scrambling to reclaim what I had set out to do.

Part of it is that I am embracing all this free time that I had after finishing my class and finishing up the art show. both went well and I’m happy that they did. It comes at an appropriate time when things are winding down and I can start thinking about what I’d like to do next.

Oh, and all that about giving Mark another chance. Bad idea! I was right before. The boy showed his ass again after only a week and a half and I had to resort to REALLY cutting him off by erasing his number out of my phone and deleting his info from my email. I want no temptation this time. The son of a bitch got all cold and distant to me on Wednesday, the day of my show. He couldn’t come b/c of a “birthday party” but I think his GF was in town and he was feeling guilty for like the thousandth time about what he was doing (because once again, he had started up with the flirting with me). I came over to chat with him and he looked at me like I was a snake. I remember leaving that conversation feeling awful and I knew that this had to be it. So I haven’t spoken to him since and he hasn’t bothered me. He knows the deal. The thing that annoys me is how he keeps going about his business like it’s no big deal (except when every now and then when I see him watching me a I go around the room while he pretends he’s reading his book). What a jerk! I can clearly see that he is all about himself and indulging his selfish, greedy tendencies. Earlier this week I also found out that he was getting felt up by the Concubine at one oft he office parties a few months ago. That made my stomach turn.

So now once again I”m on the road to rehab, getting over him and away from him. Of course it doesn’t help that Sonia keeps talking about him all the time to me. She keeps insisting that I shouldn’t let him bother me in that I enjoy his company and that I should consider a friendship with him and overlook the fact that he is obviously crazy. She must be crazy but then she doesn’t know him like I do. She actually thinks he’s a good guy. It’s kind of frustrating because after I tell her I’m done with the situation, she brings it up again, mostly because she talks about every damn thing AD NAUSEUM and wants to debate it and discuss it. I’m going to have to give her some distance too because she’s not helping me move past it. I spoke to K about it last night and she totally understood where I came from and I felt a lot better. She agreed; hew as just a selfish person that just wanted to mess around and that he was not worth all the drama that is swirling around him.

Unfortunately, we’re flying out together next week on our trip to MI. Yuck. More avoidance. That should be fun. I could kick myself for making those reservations analogous to his but at the time, I thought we were cool again and he seemed pretty happy that we were going to be hanging out during that time. NOT!

Looks like this is the time time to cut cords and seeing people as they really are.

I feel like I’ve had to do something similiar with BMC. She showed her ass again by not coming to the show on Wednesday. Not that I expect everyone that I invite to show up but she pulled a shady on me by telling me at the last minute that she had an office party to go to and that she had already told me about it but that I had simply forgotten. First of all,don’t tell me what I forgot and did not. I have an excellent memory and I don’t forget such things. And just a day or so earlier, she kept talking about coming to the show. I think what is really going is that she’s insecure and didn’t really want to be a part of what I am doing because of her own insecurities. She has been like that since I met her when I was 11 years old and in spite of her seeming like she ahs gotten over that, she is still pulling the same stupid shit 18 years later. I took her off my chat list too. Her phoniness is just too much.

So to hell with all these haters! All these insecure people who prey on the happy and try to snatch their sunshine off their necks.  Movin’ on up….

~ by J on December 9, 2007.